Humanise
In her appearance last year on Two Much with Kajol and Twinkle, Jahnvi Kapoor confesses how much she has to dumb herself down to navigate the âmale egosâ in her profession, even as a privileged Indian actress. âI am still picking my battles ⌠I will just say, âmujhe samajh nahi aa raha (I am not getting it)â, instead of saying this is f***ed up!âTwinkle Khanna, on the other hand, said she faced the same problem in her time, but ânever understood the need to be diplomatic.âNow, Iâm a somewhat privileged woman who has navigated the male ego through multiple careersâIâve been a software developer, a marketer across tech, media, consumer goods, and startups, and also a non-fiction writer and author; Iâve also seen my mother, a lawyer, getting stalled in her profession by a single big male ego, her husbandâsâso I can relate to both Kapoorâs and Khannaâs approach.There have been times when my rage at being automatically assumed as less-than by the other sex, even if unconsciously, demanded conscious recognition, so it could be channeled into a battle worth fighting productively, either for myself or the feminist idea at large. Men have looked at me and, because Iâm a woman, assumed that I cannot be given the steering wheel of a car, or that I do not know how to drive a bike (I do), or that I donât work in tech as a developer (I donât now, but I have before). Over my career, men have âmansplainedâ the basics of my job(s) to me, in ways that felt more patronising than helpful. Theyâve assumed Iâm not good at math, that Iâve gotten where I am because Iâm pretty or have connections, as if these perceived advantages didnât come with traumatic experiences at the hands of predatory men in positions of power, or that my success didnât involve intense hard work and real intelligence, which Iâve chosen to nurture and cultivate every day.
